Do these shorts make my butt look fast?

As a beginning runner I think it's very important to look the part. Nobody wants to be running and look like a fool without the proper running gear. I personally feel that it's a great opportunity to accessorize and try to look cute while sweating like a moose. So let me begin with the base layers. Any stylish girl who's running like her life depends on it should throw on some spandex. They are not only super comfortable but also hilarious to wear in public. I suggest Nike Pro Combat spandex if you are so daring. Unless you look like Barbie and are 110 pounds I would steer clear of the spandex shorts and go for capris or full length pants instead. I also feel like they make you faster, although I have no scientific evidence of this, I still believe it, which is good enough for me. I recently went to my local running store and bought some real running sneakers. These are essential if you want to run more than 5 miles. Although I think they are absolutely hideous, they are heavenly to run in and may save my life on longer runs, closer to the marathon. Next, I did what any self respecting girl would do and bought a matching tank top to complete the outfit. If you have long hair I suggest getting a good headband to keep your rats nest out of your face while running. A stellar heart rate monitor will keep you on track, allow you to see how many calories you are burning, and help you to keep your pace. It also ensure you aren't having a heart attack while running. (Hey, it could happen) In the near future, I hope to get a fancy water bottle fanny pack, just like my good friend Becky. I will have to ease into that though, one accessory at a time :)